How to Help Your Child Balance School and Extracurricular Activities

There was a time when childhood was simpler—kids went to school, did a little homework, and then rushed outside to play with their friends until dinner. Their schedules were open, manageable, and filled with free play, allowing for creativity and relaxation. Fast forward to today, and the picture looks very different. Many young children now find their days packed with numerous activities, leaving little time for spontaneous play or relaxation. In addition to attending school, they are often involved in two or three team sports, music lessons, academic clubs, church groups, and other organized activities. While these extracurriculars offer valuable opportunities for growth, the sheer volume can leave kids feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and even struggling with sleep.

Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, describes this trend as a nationwide issue. He explains, “Overscheduling our children is not only a widespread phenomenon, it’s how we parent today.” Many parents feel pressured to enroll their kids in as many activities as possible, believing that this will help them develop essential skills and keep up with their peers. As Rosenfeld notes, “Parents feel remiss that they’re not being good parents if their kids aren’t in all kinds of activities. Children are under pressure to achieve, to be competitive.” This mindset, while well-intentioned, can lead to an overloaded schedule that burdens children rather than benefits them.

Kids Want to Please Their Parents

It’s important to recognize that children are often eager to please their parents and may participate in numerous activities because they feel it’s what is expected of them. While parents may believe they are giving their children opportunities for growth, enrichment, and success, the reality is that many children simply can’t handle the pressure. The desire to make their parents proud can lead children to hide their stress and overwhelm until it becomes unmanageable.

Parents may reflect on their own childhoods and wish to provide more for their children—more opportunities, more success, more experiences. However, the pursuit of "more" can sometimes turn into too much, creating unnecessary stress. What starts as good intentions often transforms into a childhood filled with anxiety, sleep issues, and burnout. Kids may be involved in so many activities that they miss out on the simple joys of childhood, like free play and time spent daydreaming or simply being.

Here are some things parents can do to help their children balance schoolwork and extracurricular activities:

Lighten Up

Parents should remember that childhood is meant to be a time of joy and exploration, not constant achievement. There will be plenty of time for seriousness and competition in adulthood. Instead of pressuring children to excel in every area, focus on creating happy, fun-filled memories together. Encourage activities that foster joy, rather than solely achievement.

Understand the Benefits of Self-Direction

Children benefit tremendously from having time to engage in independent work and play. Self-directed time allows them to explore their own interests, process their daily experiences, and de-stress. Free play also encourages creativity and problem-solving, critical skills for emotional and cognitive development. By giving children the freedom to direct some of their own time, parents can help them build a sense of autonomy and self-confidence.

Talk to Your Child

Open communication is key. Parents won’t know if their child is struggling to balance school and activities unless they ask. Regularly check in with your child about how they are feeling. If they are showing signs of overwhelm, such as difficulty sleeping or increased anxiety, work with them to prioritize and eliminate activities that may be contributing to their stress. Together, you can find a balance that allows them to enjoy both school and their extracurricular interests without feeling overburdened.

While extracurricular activities like sports, music, and the arts are valuable for a child’s development, it’s crucial to ensure that your child doesn’t become overwhelmed by an overly packed schedule. Striking a balance between structured activities and free time can lead to healthier, happier kids who enjoy the benefits of both learning and relaxation.

If your child is showing signs of stress or overwhelm and you’re seeking guidance on how to help them manage their time and activities, I’m here to assist. Please reach out, and I’d be happy to discuss strategies for reducing stress and promoting a more balanced, fulfilling childhood.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200301/the-overbooked-child

https://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/balancing-school-with-extracurricular-activities.aspx

https://childmind.org/article/finding-the-balance-with-after-school-activities/