Couples Counselling
Move From Surviving to Thriving Together
Maybe it’s the same argument on repeat: different topic, same ending. Maybe there’s no arguing at all anymore, just distance: two people running a household, managing schedules, raising kids, and somewhere along the way becoming roommates. Or trust has taken a hit, and you don’t know whether it can be rebuilt. If that’s where you are, there’s more for you on our infidelity counselling page.
Couples usually reach out to us not because the relationship is over, but because they can’t find the way back on their own. That’s not a failure. It’s how relationships work: the patterns that keep two people stuck are bigger than either person, and nearly impossible to see from inside them. Seeing them from a new vantage point is where couples counselling starts, but it isn’t the whole of it. Much of the work is experiential: rather than only talking about the pattern, you work through it together, in the room, as it comes up between you. Actually feeling and moving through something, instead of only understanding it, is often where the real change happens.
Vista Counselling provides couples counselling in person at our Langley, BC office and online across BC. Some couples prefer to meet in the office, others find video sessions easier to fit around work and family life, and some use a mix of both.
Couples counselling is where the pattern changes; daily life is where the change takes root.
You’re Not the Only Ones
Struggling is common, far more common than the highlight reels suggest. Some couples separate; many more stay together but settle into survival mode: on cruise control, connected by logistics rather than intimacy, or worn down by tension that never quite resolves. Survival mode is livable. But it isn’t what either of you signed up for, and it isn’t the ceiling.
Whether It’s a Crisis or a Slow Drift
Some couples come in with the ground still moving; others can’t point to a day when anything broke. Either way, one or more of these usually feel familiar:
- The same argument keeps coming back, whatever the topic
- You’ve stopped arguing, but you’ve also stopped talking, and you feel more like roommates than partners
- One of you pushes to talk it through while the other shuts down or walks away
- Trust has been broken and you’re not sure whether it can be rebuilt
- You want different things when it comes to closeness, independence or sex
- You’re considering separating and want to be sure before you decide
- The relationship is basically good, and you want to keep it that way through a hard stretch: a new baby, a move, a loss, a job that takes everything
If a few of these land, that’s usually enough reason to book a first session.
How We Work With Couples
Getting a better understanding of what’s happening between the two of you comes first. Below are three of the approaches we draw on to help guide that work:
In practice these approaches often overlap, depending on what the two of you are experiencing, and that can change as the work goes on.
Who Does the Couples Work
Dr. Kevin Klassen, PsyD
With over 20,000 clinical hours, Kevin has supported individuals and couples in Langley since 2009. He is a Registered Marriage & Family Therapist, a designation that reflects specific, extensive, supervised training in working with couples and family systems, and is trained in EFT, the Gottman Method and PACT.
Roshni Vedamanikam, MA, MSW
A Registered Clinical Counsellor since 2003, Roshni works with couples on connection, communication and conflict, drawing on Gottman and Emotionally Focused principles. Sessions with Roshni are online.
What a First Session Looks Like
You’ll both attend, and mostly, you’ll talk: about what brought you in, how you each see the relationship, and what you want it to become. We’ll also get to know more about your history as a couple, not just the current conflict. The aim isn’t to decide who’s right, and you won’t be asked to reopen old wounds before there’s enough safety in the room to do it well. By the end of the first session or two, we’ll have a better understanding of the pattern you’re caught in and what working on it together would look like. Sessions are typically 50 minutes, though some couples find a longer double session works better. We offer in-person sessions in Langley or virtual sessions across BC.
Making It Stick
Along the way we’ll help you build the habits thriving couples share: regular honest check-ins, addressing hurts instead of shelving them, protected time together, and noticing progress out loud. Over time, as communication and connection improve, they stop feeling like something you have to remember to do and start feeling like part of the relationship again.
Couples Counselling FAQs
My partner is skeptical about counselling. Is it worth coming anyway?
Skepticism is normal. Often one partner arrives hopeful and the other arrives reluctant. A reluctant partner who shows up is enough to start. And if your partner won’t come at all, individual counselling can still shift a relationship, because changing one side of a pattern changes the pattern.
Do you take sides?
No. The relationship is the client. The exception is safety: if anyone is at risk, that comes first. Our job is to help you both see the cycle you’re caught in, which usually isn’t one person’s fault, and change it together.
Is couples counselling right if there’s been violence or intimidation?
Not usually, and not as a first step. Couples work depends on both people being able to speak openly without fear of what happens afterwards, and where there’s violence, intimidation, or coercion, that condition isn’t there. In those situations we’d start with individual support instead. If this is your situation, VictimLinkBC is free, confidential and available 24/7. You can call or text 1-800-563-0808. You can also read what we’ve written about consent in relationships.
Is it too late for us?
We can’t promise an outcome, and no honest therapist can. What we can say is that couples often arrive feeling further gone than they are, and that the patterns that feel permanent are usually learnable and changeable. If separation is genuinely on the table, counselling can also help you make that decision deliberately rather than by erosion.
Is couples counselling covered by insurance?
Many extended health plans reimburse Registered Clinical Counsellors. It’s worth checking whether your plan covers RCCs or RMFTs. Fees and policies are on our FAQ page.
What does a session cost?
Sessions are 50 minutes. The fee is $225 per session with Dr. Klassen and $165 with Roshni. Full details, including our cancellation policy, are on our FAQ page.
Couples Counselling in Langley
We see couples at our Langley office, with free on-site parking and easy access from Highway 1, serving Walnut Grove, Fort Langley, Brookswood, Murrayville, Surrey, Cloverdale, Aldergrove, and the wider Fraser Valley, in person and online across BC. Directions are on our location page. If it’s your marriage specifically that’s on your mind, we’ve written more on our marriage counselling page.
Reaching out about your relationship takes courage, and often it’s one partner going first. Contact us with your questions or book an appointment online; we respond within 1–2 business days.
Related Services at Vista
Sometimes what’s straining a relationship isn’t the relationship. If you’re married or in a long-term partnership, our marriage counselling page covers that work specifically, and when the strain follows an affair or a long-held secret, infidelity counselling is that work’s own page. But when depression, anxiety, or unresolved trauma is weighing on one partner, and through them on the relationship, individual counselling may be the better starting point.